Outside view…

From the heart of a child
To the nurses, doctors, and all the other hospital staff…
I know you are busy trying to take care of every one. I know you come in to check my physical status, giving me stuff through a needle into the tubes, checking my vitals, monitoring everything. I lay here, though, on the hard uncomfortable hospital bed, squirming around, trying to get comfortable, and feeling alone and afraid. I hear other kids crying down the hallway, and wonder what is making them cry.
I hurt and am scared, not knowing what’s going to happen next, yet I try to be brave. I’m bored and attempt to watch the TV that’s mounted in the corner, but the stark blank walls that surround me and distract me, and make me feel uncomfortable.
I’m cold and the sterile white blankets are stiff and itchy. I can’t seem to get warm. I know there’s stuff all around me that I can do, books, cards, and toys, but I just can’t seem to get interested in them. I want to be home in my own bed, in front of my own TV. I’m afraid and alone.
When are you going to come in and check the weird stuff that surrounds me? I wonder what that beeping sound is and the little lines that go up and down and numbers that flash on the panel of one the machines is supposed to be and do. I wonder about what all the tubes do and why are they hooked up to me? I hurt, but try to be brave. I don’t want you to see me crying, like the other kids down the hall.
A face peers around the corner and then two people come in. Gee, these guys aren’t nurses, or doctors or volunteers. They don’t seem to fit here in the hospital. Who are they? They don’t have white coats, and they are not dressed like the nurses. They say hello and are laughing and smiling and say something about a “magic show”.
I groan and roll my eyes back and think, oh how stupid. I want them to go away, but they don’t. So I talk to them a little, I guess. Then they do their act. How odd, these guys are funny and good! Gee, next thing I know I’m smiling, and think wow, that’s pretty cool.
Then they leave, but you know what? I’m glad they came because I forgot about all the tubes; I forgot about the pain, I forgot about all the weird machines all around me just for a little bit. They made me feel not so alone, and not so afraid even if it was only for a few minutes. Magic show, wow that was pretty neat. I wonder what their names were.
Flashback – 50 years, 1966 to the age of 14. I was in an out of hospitals …I still remember being in so much pain, alone, afraid, and no one to hear me cry. They didn’t have magic shows back then to help us kids make the pain, fear, and loneness go away. We were scared, we were ALL scared. To have a brief moment’s escape from that, I would have remembered the brief joy. So I want to thank the organization “Magic for Life” for being here for the kids of today, and as I age, I thank them for being here during my declining years even if it’s only for one brief moment in time.
Wanona L. Heynen – May 2010